High school politics have now taken over real politics

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I no longer need to see the “Joker” movie, for I already live in the clown world. As is custom with every election year, each party held their caucuses in Iowa a few weeks ago. These caucuses consisted of people crowding into one side of the room and screaming their candidate’s name loud enough to garner more screechers to their horde.

Anyone below the 15th percentile of voters was disqualified from receiving the all-important delegates needed to go to the next caucus in New Hampshire. But, something completely different happened during this year’s Iowa caucus.

A week before the event, it is tradition to send out a preliminary poll to scout out how well the candidates will perform in caucuses, Iowa’s being especially important since the party nominee often wins in Iowa before taking the rest of the states. However, this time a Pete Buttigieg voter allegedly MISPRONOUNCED HIS NAME, so they had to throw out the poll completely.

A little suspicious, but whatever, it’s probably fine. The poll results were later revealed with Bernie Sanders absolutely crushing it, with Warren, Buttigieg, and Biden trailing behind. It’s no secret that the DNC hates Bernie Sanders. Multiple Democrats, including former president Barack Obama, have spoken up about how they want to stop Sanders from getting the nomination. It’s no surprise then that the DNC wants to sabotage his campaign just like they did in 2016.

So, the night of February 3 comes, and the people of Iowa turn out in droves to their voting precincts. As the poll had predicted, Sanders supporters overwhelmed numerous precincts with sheer numbers, while media darlings like Joe Biden struggled to shape up against newcomers like Andrew Yang.

The night goes on, the caucuses are caucused, and the results should be coming in any moment now…. Any moment…. Just wait it’ll happen. Hours pass with literally no word from the precincts, something that people who have covered caucuses their entire careers have never even heard of.

Turns out, instead of traditional voting methods, this year’s caucus would be decided by voters using an app developed by an unknown company and controlled by the completely trustworthy and honest DNC, who definitely didn’t rig the 2016 election against Sanders. The aforementioned app was experiencing “technical difficulties,” and the votes needed to be “quality controlled.”

During this “quality controlling,” more information came out about the app’s history. A company called Shadow Incorporated had developed the app in the months prior, with funding from the DNC and the Pete Buttigieg campaign of all things. The night goes on, videos appear of the sketchiest coin flips I’ve ever seen to distribute delegates and no word on results.

Interestingly, reporters were actually joking about how important it is for the Democrats to beat Trump, almost as important as it is to beat Sanders. These people are witnessing some of the most disastrous voter tampering seen in the past two decades of politics, and they’re joking about it.

The next day, votes begin trickling into news stations and a clear frontrunner comes forward: Buttigieg. Sanders is leading in the popular vote, but Buttigieg has a clear lead in delegates, making him the winner of the Iowa caucus.

At least, that’s what everyone was saying with only 60% of the results. Interestingly enough, almost all of the unreported districts are the ones that Sanders completely dominated in.

At 95% of the votes, Sanders and Buttigieg are tied, with Sanders winning the popular vote, making him the ACTUAL winner of the caucus. Despite this, the media continues to tout Buttigieg as the winner of the caucus, and people report a hilarious amount of error in reporting of votes, making the Iowa Caucus entirely moot on who actually won.

With all this information, what does this spell for the American people? The DNC is more concerned with their status quo and big Pharma checks than they are with the concerns of their constituents, so much so that they’re willing and ready to sabotage the campaign of one of the only people who seems to actually care about the people.

How does that look to the rest of the world as well? What kind of message does this send to the people of not just America, but the whole world? This is the first stone of many that will signal the fall of the two-party system. Our government is corrupt as can be, and no amount of swamp draining will fix that.

Alex Kirchner

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